Written by Andrew John Tucker, LCSW
www.addictiontherapynyc.com
We’ve all felt it—that pull to “make things right” by making someone pay. But in The Price of Revenge, a riveting Hidden Brain episode, Shankar Vedantam shares what neuroscience reveals: revenge lights up the brain’s reward circuitry—the same part activated by substances like alcohol, cocaine, and opioids.
That’s not just an interesting overlap—it’s a profound one. It suggests that both revenge and addiction offer temporary hits of power, control, or release—followed by long-term harm. The short-term surge may feel like relief, but the aftereffects are just as destabilizing: obsession, shame, emotional re-injury, and ultimately disconnection from self and others.
In recovery, this science helps us depersonalize the craving for retribution and reframe it as part of a dysregulated loop. The desire for revenge, like the craving to use, is real—but not always rooted in our deepest values. When we treat revenge like a fix, we open the door to a new kind of choice: one grounded in restoration, not reactivity.
Here are three grounded ways to work with that in recovery:
- Resentment Journaling Practice:
Each night, name who’s still taking up real estate in your mind. Write the fantasy revenge. Get honest. Then ask: What am I really needing? What’s the wound under this impulse? - Justice Visualization Exercise:
In session or on your own, close your eyes and imagine a healing scenario—not retribution, but repair. Picture being heard. Picture safety. Picture closure. Notice what shifts in your breath, your posture, or your nervous system. - Forgiveness as a Recovery Practice:
Try this mantra: “I release this not because they deserve it—but because I don’t need to keep dosing myself with resentment.”
Forgiveness isn’t forgetting. It’s choosing not to be controlled by what hurt you. It’s recovery in real-time.
This episode is more than a reflection on revenge. It’s a challenge to see our own power differently—not in what we do to others, but in how we choose to free ourselves.
🔗 Listen to the original Hidden Brain podcast episode, “The Price of Revenge” by Shankar Vedantam
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